After careful consideration, not to mention contemplation towards dedication, I’ve finally decided to take the pen off the paper! Welcome to my blog!
For years I’ve had a “love/don’t love so much” relationship with my journal. Some were bound by suede, some leather, filled with pages of artisan paper that invited the ink to sink in and absorb your every word, thought, and emotion. I loved opening them, closing them, displaying them on bookshelves, and of course, writing in them. I loved glueing in boarding pass stubs, dried flowers, and concert tickets… Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Pearl Jam, to name just a few. I loved watching them expand and grow thick, becoming difficult to close, with memories and memorabilia of travel and and adventure, or maybe just pages filled with simple, quiet thoughts pondered on the porch at the cottage. I love reading them over, and over again from time to time, and thinking that if they were stories about someone else’s life, I ‘d be interested in seeing what happened next. On the other hand, what I love a little less is how my journals, sitting on my shelves or by my bed, often serve as a subtle reminder that for whatever reason, I’m not engaging in life in a way that is inspiring me to write, and later on, reminisce. (note: journal entries significantly decreased after changing gears and attempting to embark on a new chapter in my life in a more compact, sleeker “moleskin” version of the “journal”… not near as comfy as what I was familiar with and judging by the empty pages, clearly not for me…to each their own)!
In keeping with “changing gears”; a few months ago I took the plunge and switched from my trusty old HP laptop, to a big beautiful IMAC for my office. The transition was so daunting for a luddite such as myself that I avoided my office for at least a week. For the record I have “IEverything” and rather than sync my life in general, I still carry around my old school appointment book. Where was my music (not just the stuff I bought on ITunes)? Where were my photos (not just the ones I managed to sync off my iPhone)? Where were my documents, how could I open them, and more importantly, how in the hell could I create a new one?! Another week must have passed before I managed to plough (very lightly and slowly) through my resistance to “change” and google search “word for IMAC”; I purchased and successfully downloaded the program in less than 10 mins… small victories.
The week moves along and with a little more confidence and a bit less frustration, I spend more time at my desk. I find a few tunes, sort a few pics, shoot off a few docs, and then one night after a few glasses of Merlot, I walk bravely into my office (maybe with a little one, two, sidestep) and sit down to write what would be my first “computer” journal entry since 1990, when I poured my deepest secrets out to my Commodor 64 after watching an episode of Doogie Howser, MD. and thinking he was the coolest dude ever with his curly hair and end of the day “reflections” (you remember the ones). I then decided to go back to my diary with the lock and key, in case my Mom and Dad read what I wrote (I was all of 12 years old, and I’m sure it was scandalous;)!
Back to 2012. As we’re all well aware, the “New Year “can bring light and encouragement to ideas that have been simmering on the back burner, goals left unattained, and promises to yourself that you’ve spoken and broken coutless times over. I’m the sort who doesn’t’ normally wait for the “new year” to get all geared up about brilliant ideas, a healthier lifestyle, or travelling to somewhere half way around the world to explore or attempt to save it. I get geared up like that on any given Monday, on any given month. While I live my life with good intentions, and with an overall positive, adventurous and, healthy disposition… I’ll be honest and tell you that in the past, more than a few of my “big ideas” have fallen flat before leaving the gate.
So this year, as I have in years past, I resolved not to make any resolution beginning on January 1st. Instead I decided to figure out where I most needed balance and consistency in my life, and to put the necessary effort forth to find it.
With tea in hand, and sunlight pouring in my office, I sit here, entering day 4 of a cleanse and yoga challenge, feeling vibrate and content as I sign off on a blog I was a terrified to begin. For the moment I can say with almost complete certainty… which is as certain as it gets for me… that I at least feel as though I’m heading down a path I haven’t travelled on in a long while; or maybe ever before? In any event, I’m game!
I look forward to continued journeys and new directions, and sharing what comes along with you.
The weeks to come bring the creation of a new limb (www.candacecarnahan.com), further investigation and experimentation into eating vegan/vegetarian, and more and more yoga (more as in like everyday) @ Yoga Nirvana! Tune in to check out recipes for phenemonal baked falafel, rocking roasted garlic hummus… and a step by step chronicle of having a prosthetic limb created, pun intended….
Signing off happily, and with huge gratitude to my buddy Mitch (a.k.a my social media guru) for his encouragement and tech support… mostly his tech support 😉